Working on Xander Barns

Working on Xander right now.



My eyes open immediately and I find myself lying on a queen-sized bed with a purple comforter from a store I can’t pronounce, staring up at a ceiling in a room from a condo that belongs to a blue-eyed….

“Devil.” I whisper, moving my mouth into a familiar smile that tells me it’s been far too long. “Fucking Stockholm syndrome.”

I hold a hand to my beating heart and look out the window by my bed. It’s stormy and dark outside. Wind blows rain everywhere and fog covers the buildings I would on a normal day see clearly.

My clock radio buzzes on. “Good morning, Toronto! I’m Carl, and I’m Janine, and you’re listening to Breakfast at Dawn on Hits 102.1 fm. Got to get to work by seven, let us help you with the top ten hits from 1995, sponsored by Q Media for all your wireless needs get em at the Q. Let’s start off 5am with a bang. It’s…. Don’t Go Away Because I’ll Find You Breathing Dead Or Alive…. by The Stalker Killers.”

I grunt out a laugh. “Ha, they’re about to sing my life story.”


Something like that….

Xander Barns Book 4 Update

Ahhh good day everyone…a bit of an update to you all. Working hard on book 4 of my XB Series. It’s coming along like it should be, like it was meant to be after all this time….anyways….right here I have a secret, a recent addition the book I’ve decided to add after the original story of XB4 finishes up and I hope you all like it.


Xander Barns: An Alternate Universe.

I wanted more out of life than the horrid concoction my mother had planned for me. For starters, I was eighteen years old and on my way to being married. Benjamin Owen Charles Walters was the son of Gwyneth Marie Elizabeth Walters. From the time my mother could crawl, Mrs. Walters and her had been the best of friends. At eighteen years old they were both married and by twenty they had given birth to Benjamin and I. It had to be faith that my mother had a girl and Mrs. Walters had a boy. Our union from then on was set in stone. At eighteen we were to be married and our mothers would plan the wedding of the season.

“End of discussion, young lady.” My mother voiced her disgust after tea this afternoon. Mrs. Walters was on her way with Francine Wilder of Wilder Designs to discuss my wedding dress. I wanted a modern design with hints of color and absolutely no lace. My mother hated that idea and quickly shot it down. Wedding plans were in its beginning stages and already my desires for the day were being ignored. I felt hopeless and undervalued. The day of any wedding should be the happiest for the bride and groom, but with Benjamin and I’s wedding due in four months time, I’d yet to see the light my heart desired. Happiness seemed impossible with the progression of plans that needed not I, nor my future husband.


I’ll give away more information as to what this is later on……

Working right now, it seems like it’s going to take forever, but what’s the point of putting something out that’ll just get a ‘meh’. My biggest fear is putting something out and gathering similar responses along the lines of….”WE WAITED THIS LONG FOR THAT! WHAT A WASTE OF TIME! I’M NEVER READING ANYTHING FROM THIS AUTHOR AGAIN!”

Okay….enough of that. I have work to do.

James’ POV for Don’t Stop Holding ME

Who would like to read a bit of the prologue for…….Don’t Stop Holding Me?
I’m putting it up here anyways….so deal with it! :-)
It’s from James’ perspective….for the first time EVER!


Wednesday August 1st 2012

The floorboards rumbled like a mini earthquake and there was no doubt in my mind that Big Chief was awake and heading straight for my/not room.

He pounded against the door. “You don’t open this door, I’ll open it anyways. This is my house, you understand, boy?”

The door opened before my feet touched hardwood. Jim Lawson came barging inside, stopping in front of my/not bed with a nasty but usual scowl on his wrinkled forty-four year old face.

“Seventeen years old, and this is the kind of shit you’re trying to pull. Boy, when I tell you to open the door, open the god damn fucking door.” he hissed like he was trying to hold himself back from doing something CPS would have been called for.

I got in his face, leaning down a little since I was an inch taller. “The only thing I see is a grown ass man barging into his oldest son’s room, acting like a prick for no god damn reason.”

“Keep the fucking volume down, this is my house, my family doesn’t need to hear you mouth off to me.” Dad started to breath heavy, bull status.

This was fun. I smirked in his face. First feeling of happiness I’d felt in awhile.

“Well Jimmy boy, the floor is yours, what brings the head of the Lawson Brigade 2.0 into my little room. Oh sorry, it’s not my room. Your house, your room, this is all your shit. Come in and out as you please, but just out of courtesy maybe you’d like to knock next time and wait for me to answer as I sleep naked sometimes and well, you get it don’t you.” I smirked again in his face as he snarled in disgust, shaking his head.

“Smart ass, that mother of yours has spoiled your ass, turning you into a bitch that talks back to his father. You’re a piece of shit, James.” Dad finished saying his piece and stormed out the room, leaving me frozen, heart pounding up to my ears, pulse about to burst and all that shit.


Something like that….hoped you liked it!!
I’m going to have like a million books out at the same time, so like, I don’t know….please check em out…okay BYE!

Ohhh and I’m feeling hungry right now!


Taking too damn long…..

Gosh darn it….everything’s taking so freaking long…..ugh. I guess the word of the moment would be “PERFECTION” and it’s about my quest to it….or rather my idea of Perfection, because my idea of perfection could still be a long way off from what Perfection actually is and what I’ve accomplished at the end of the day could still be a long, long, long, very far, like I’m talking a galaxy away, distance from what “Professional” writers would call a work of “Perfection”…..average at best….. maybe?…..LET’S HOPE SO!

Check out some stuff bitches!!!

“Honestly, he gave me an STD.” I shrug, eying bubble tits in her pastel pink evening gown for exactly three seconds. Then I pan to the right where her identically dressed partner in crime gapes at me with an open mouth. “Swear to God, ladies.”

The look of confusion on each of their faces rings the end of the match.

Well that was easier than I thought it would be, in fact I think it’s a new record.

“What’s an STD?” the one on the right asks slowly. Something about the way she blinks her vacant looking blue eyes makes me think she’s being completely serious. From the corner of my eye, bubble tits tilts her head to the side, also seeming curious.

Guess she wants to know too…what the fuck is wrong with the world!

They both get glares of destruction. There’s something wrong with the world when I start feeling like the smartest person in the room. I take a deep breath before answering. “It means he’s given me the clap.”

They eye one another and then look back at me, wide eyed. “Huh?”

“In my ass.” I add. When I get crickets again, I decide on another approach. “It means, I can’t bleach my asshole.”

Bubble tits eyes bulge. “NO! You poor thing.”

With a hand to her heart, her friend chimes in right after. “Oh my
God! How have you been living?”

Ding, ding, ding…. back in the winner’s circle again.

My frown is turned upside down and I’m back to grinning.

Lights turn on, highlighting the Japanese style oasis we were dining around. The music changes to something more upbeat.

“Ladies and gentleman, will you please join the bride and groom on the dance floor.” The DJ says into his microphone. I turn in my seat and dressed in a dapper navy blue tuxedo, was the definition of gorgeous and deceitful. He turns in his seat beside me and eyes me with a hint of amusement. Those blue eyes were of another planet. They were special like that, so much so I stop breathing for a second. The two women I was conversing with were seated at the table beside us. They’ve been eye-fucking Xander since we first arrived at his friend’s wedding an hour ago.

He doesn’t look at them but gives me a charismatic grin. His blue eyes sparkle as he offers his hand to me. Without hesitating, I take it and instantly my heart squeezes at the warmth and strength of his hand.


I guess it’s about confidence at the end of the day….so….umm….PLEASE LIKE MY WORK!!!!!!!


Thinking about the meaning of life right now….

XB Series Order of Books

Xander Barns Series new order of books.

Always Wanted: Book 1

Always Wanted Forever (Formally books 1-2-3) – Book 2

Calling Ms. Kensington: Book 3

Forever Calling You: Book 4


So….on recent news…..made a decision today to put up Always Wanted Forever up for free. Currently it’s up for free on ibooks and Kobo.

Keep a look out in the next few days for other places.

Writing What You Want!

July is XB preparation month. It’s been a long time coming, but I guess everything happens for a reason. I also hope to have Calling Ms. Kensington out at the same time. It’ll be like 150 pages and it’ll be known as BOOK 3 in the Xander Barns Series. Now, if you don’t want to read it you don’t need to to follow the series of Xander and Marisa, it all comes out eventually. It’s a fun little addition to the series though…in my opinion.

On another note, I’m kind of happy it took the time it did for me to write Forever Calling You. This past year has been sort of a market research for me. Information that ended up clearing the vision for the series. God knows it would have went a completely…..different route. Not that I changed my style but sometimes too much of a certain thing makes it boring. I remember writing Calling You and I loved it, but it had a very, very, very different response from readers. They thought the story was going one way, which was a tad more romantic and I basically took everybody down a rabbit hole filled with chaos and confusion. I remember some of the reviews, but one in particular. There was this girl (I’m assuming) from Australia who was so disappointed and that my book left a bitter taste in her mouth because of where I took the story. I’ll never forget reading her review and of course I got a 1/5 stars which I’m not unaccustomed to getting because I’m not your typical story teller. But her 1/5 and review killed me, because I don’t want to leave a bitter taste in anyones mouth.

Maybe in a few years I’ll be like screw everybody, I’m a genius!
Just kidding!

Anyways….I’ve come to a conclusion in my two plus years writing ‘novels’ for a living, that this is a business at the end of the day and if I don’t make my readers happy I’ll be back serving pizza in an oven of a restuarant for ten hour shifts (my old job of seven years) wondering where I went wrong.
60/40…..sixty percent keep the readers happy and forty percent keep me happy with my fun…crazy…style.

thanks for reading this.

XB Series
1) Always Wanted
2) Always Wanted Forever
3) Calling Ms. Kensington
4) Forever Calling You


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